Grieving your child can be overwhelming for the mom and the dad. Yet, I’ve found that there aren’t many outlets or support groups for grieving dads, and their grief often goes unnoticed. We expect the men in our lives to always be strong and supportive of the moms, but that’s not fair because he lost his child too. He should be afforded the same support and outlets that the mom has been given.
Watching Tom go through this whole process has been hard for me because I know he’s hurting too. He doesn’t talk about it with many people because they are mainly concerned with how I am that he holds his pain in, and that’s not how it should be. Reach out to the hurting dads too and let them know they are often thought about and cared for as well. It won’t take his pain away, but it might help him knowing that it’s okay to not always be the strong one and to know that he’s loved too.
So to any grieving dads - I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have had to go through this too, and I’m sorry that your feelings have been overlooked by many. Looking back, I’m guilty of only reaching out to the moms I know that have had losses without a thought about the dad. Going forward I promise to also reach out and think about you too. I’ll send you cards, texts and call you just to check in. Dealing with grief isn’t easy and you shouldn’t be expected to hold yours in or deal with it alone.
