Thoughts about the Connecticut tragedy

I thought I worried about Thomas before... before last Friday when I heard the awful news of the tragic event in CT.  Now, I am a mess.  I have always been a worrier... I get it from my mom.  I worry over just about everything, but I especially worry about my boy.  His health, whether or not he is eating enough, if I am being a good mom and a good example.  I worry about him getting hurt, emotionally and physically.  I worry that I might not be around to see him grow up and if that is the case, whether or not someone will make sure to tell him every day how much I love him, how much he was longed for and wanted, and how he has made me the happiest mom on the face of the earth.  After last Friday, I don't want to ever let him out of my sight.  I just want to hold onto him and try to protect him from everything evil in this world.  I know I can't possibly do that, but after everything I went through to get him here, with me, I sure do wish it was possible.  I feel guilt for bringing him into a world that has so much evil but I have been trying to remind myself that there is still much more good and I need to focus on that.  I need to teach Thomas to focus on that. I have hugged and kissed on him so much over the last few days that I am sure he is sick of me, but I can't stop.  I can't stop telling him how much I love him and how lucky I feel to be his mom.  He definitely doesn't understand me and he won't remember at this point, but some day he will be old enough to remember and I want to take every opportunity I can, so there is never a question in his mind. 

The recent tragic events has caused me to reevaluate my life and try to prioritize things a bit more.  I want to be a good example to my son and be the best possible mom I can be for him because he deserves that and so much more.  My goal is to strive to be better.  At everything.  At being a mom. At being patient and understanding.  At being more spiritual and doing a better job of inviting the spirit into our home.  I want to be a better wife and give Tom and Thomas a better home environment.  I am all too aware of the fact that I fought very hard, and prayed even harder to have children and I owe it to him and to our Heavenly Father to do the best possible job in raising him.  

I can't even imagine what those parents are going through, and I hope I never have to.  And though I don't know them personally, all I can do is pray for them.  Pray for peace and love to surround them over the next few weeks, months and years as they do something a parent should never have to do.

Half a Year?!

Seriously I say this every month, but time really needs to slow down!  It is going way too fast and I can hardly keep up with all of the new things Thomas is doing and learning.  

At six months Thomas:

• Still rolls over from his back to his stomach and even though he knows how to roll back over, he refuses to and screams until we roll him back
• Has officially grown out of all 3-6 month clothing.  He's now wearing 6 month outfits and I feel it won't be long before he'll move to 9 months.
• Had a doctor appointment on the 7th and he weighed 20 pounds 8 ounces, which puts him in the 96th percentile on weight.  He is also 26.5 inches long now, which puts him in the 60th percentile.  Overall, he's healthy and just a big boy.
• He moved on to the big boy pacifiers and he loves them.  He can put them in his own mouth now, even if it does take several tries to figure out which way it goes in.
• Started eating fruits - his favorite is pears and his least favorite is bananas.
• Now eats baby oatmeal every morning for breakfast, and a small 2 oz container of fruits or vegetables for lunch and dinner.  
• He received a jumperoo that he absolutely loves. He'll bounce for hours as long as someone is still giving him attention.  Cracks us all up!
• Also received a high chair for Christmas (early) and he loves sitting with us and being included.  Shhh - it also allows me to get dishes and cooking done as long as I still interact with him.  
• Had his first Thanksgiving!  I gave him a bite of mashed potatoes (his first "real" food, and he was disgusted.  Poor kid - he'll learn.  He was also given a taste of sweet potato pie, pumpkin pie and cool whip.  He sure did look for more cool whip.  
• Likes when he's read to. 
• Has recently discovered his tongue and sticks it out whenever possible.
• Is so in love with his daddy.  No matter what he is doing when daddy gets home from work he tries to break his neck to see him if he can't already see the door.
• Belly laughs that makes everything else seem not so bad.  This boy really knows how to make people happy.
• Started making a kissing sound (as well as he can) when his Momma kisses him.  He also started coming toward with me an open mouth when I'm making the kiss sound.  You have to love slobbery open mouth kisses.
• Still loves playing peek-a-boo and thinks it's hilarious.  Every time.
• He wakes up 2 - 3 times a night for his pacifier and then goes right back to sleep.

This boy is already wrapped around his Momma's fingers and I love every minute of it.  He makes me happier than I ever thought possible, and I love having him in my life.  I'm so thankful the Lord chose this little boy for us.  

Such a cheese with his tongue out

Happy boy before his shots

Cutie with his Momma

First time in his new high chair

Loves "reading" books

Spending time with daddy

Spending time with Momma